Cabbage feet

If, prior to last night, you’d told me you could perfectly synthesize the smell of sweaty human feet with three simple ingredients, I’d have said you were a liar. I came home after school yesterday and opened my fridge to be greeted with the mingling smells of sauerkraut, over-ripe Parmesan cheese and a well aged onion and bingo: feet. And not just any feet. The aroma brought to mind locker room funk after six hours of soccer training in the pouring rain. Hiking boots after nine hours on the trail. The snowboarding socks you peel from your feet and throw to the other side of the room so you’re able to sleep without choking. It was a dense, thick smell that skulked out of the fridge and spent the rest of the evening lurking in the corners of my apartment.

I’m hoping by now the aroma moved on from feet and is trying to emulate roses or maybe Belgian chocolate, but I’m not holding my breath. No, wait…

Posted in Rant on Friday April 14, 2006.